If I quit my job . . . .

It is official I would become a detective for a school. I am pretty good at tracking down missing things. At the start of basketball season our boys team realized they were missing two pair of shorts from their closet. They were there at the end of last year so we knew they had been stolen. Well junior high kids aren't always the brightest and I told the coach if they were actually stolen they will show up. Sure enough two months later I see this big Samoan kid at school wearing them. Don't worry I hunted him down and we got the shorts back. It turns out I am really good at intimidating people to. I think I scared him a little. News flash if you are going to steal something don't wear it to school.

Second case yesterday I see this chick wearing one of my teams bball sweatshirts. Now I designed the sweatshirt and happen to know that there were only 14 of them made. I didn't approach her at first because I wanted to talk to my players and make sure they had not loaned their sweatshirts to anyone. Well they had not. Two class periods late I tracked her down and got it back. She was a 7th grade student I have not had in class and so it was a little more challenging and I had to do a little detective work to figure out who it was. However we got it back. One of my players had left it in their math class and it was taken from there. So lesson to all junior high students IF YOU TAKE SOMETHING THAT IS NOT YOURS DON'T WEAR IT TO SCHOOL! There are other things I have tracked down as well over the years stolen jeans, the girl that flushed underwear down the toilet and clogged all the drains, ipods, cell phones . . . . if it is stolen I will try to get it back.

My back-up profession after being a detective is a doctor or athletic trainer. I dislocated my shoulder again last night and this time I layed down and put it back in place on my own. Not painful at the time but it is really sore today. I probably should take 4 weeks off but lets be honest I probably won't.