Awesome and Very Not Awesome

AWESOME: I actually did my hair differently. I find something I like and I will never switch it up but I woke up one Sunday morning and decided I should try something different. So I did. And I liked it. So one more hair option. YAY!

Just added some curls with a fatty curling iron. Very easy it turns out. Maybe just as easy as straightening the hair.

NOT AWESOME: I had a parent complaint before school even started. Are you kidding me? I guess that is one of the downsides to teaching all the girls in the entire school they are stuck with me. Don't die of shock but not everyone loves me like all of you:) But it really just stinks. I try hard to be fair and treat all the students the same and I know it is tricky to have the same teacher three years in a row and I feel like I am really careful because of that. This parent is complaining based on her older daughter that I taught many moons ago. Like my first two years of teaching. I would like to think I have changed a little since then. Hopefully I have. But I am nervous that the mothers attitude is going to ruin her daughters experience in my class. Who knows? We will see. Sometimes I wish the parents would come in and watch my class and see how little physical activity we actually do. They would be surprised. But it is very not awesome and the counselors just think it is hilarious, which makes me laugh so I guess that is ok.

AWESOME: My last day of summer I learned to curl my hair with a flat iron. I have been wanting to learn for a while but I finally just did it. Thank you Youtube. It was not as easy as it looked and it took a lot of time but I did like the end result and my hair stayed really curly all day...even after 30 miles of biking. My hair is pretty thick so it just seemed HUGE at first but as the day went on it toned down and I like it. I am not sure how often I will do this to my hair but it was fun to learn.

NOT AWESOME: I am not dating anyone anymore. Most people know already but I feel like I need to write down my feelings and maybe I will feel better about the whole situation. I figure most people are bored by this time and probably are done reading anyways. There does not seem to be any reasons it is all just based on feelings which has made it really hard. Obviously I was trying to sort through my feelings the entire relationship and I spent a lot of time in prayer and pondering wondering if it was right for me to continue to pursuing the relationship. As much as I want to be married, and I really do want to be married, I also want to marry the right person. Someone that is compatible with me. I felt good about the relationship but as he pondered and prayed he didn't. SUCKY! At first I just wondered why we felt so differently and I almost felt like I had lost my ability to receive revelation. I felt confused and hurt. I am in a better place now and I know so much depends on agency and sacrifice but I still have moments when I am really sad. I am very thankful that I have not felt angry (I really hate that feeling and I can honestly say that I never have felt that). But moving forward has been hard, surprisingly much more difficult than I would have anticipated. Mainly because meeting good, active (church), productive men close to my age has been proven to be quite challenging. I know so many amazing girls in my situation. Girls way cooler than me and I just think where are the boys that are living the same way as all of these girls. I know they have to be out there. I just rarely meet them. I know that as soon as I put myself back into social scenes I will recover and be fine. But it is so hard. However I have done plenty of hard things before. I will say that starting the school year has been a little difficult mainly because I just don't feel quite as happy as I would like. It is like something is holding me back. I know that it is a personal problem and one I need to work on. Today was actually better. I had my two ninth grade classes and they are filled with students that I love. They make me smile and laugh so that will be good. So yeah, overall a very not awesome situation. (The intention of this paragraph was not to make anyone feel bad for me I just feel like I needed to write down my feelings because they are ones I have not experienced before and I thought it may be good therapy. And I actually believe I really will learn some good things from this because there were definitely times in the relationship when I really was certain I was supposed to be dating him. It didn't go as I would have liked but hopefully I can still learn and become better.)

AWESOME: The Sound of Music at the Sundance outdoor amphitheater. I love The Sound of Music. It is one of my favorite movies and I was so excited to go see the play. It was a really enjoyable evening and I am glad Dan, Sam, and Amanda came along. I love the movie so much so I really tried not to compare the two because really how do you compete with Julie Andrews. I don't think you can. But the little girl that played Gretl, the youngest child, was adorable. It was a beautiful setting in the mountains and a very fun night.


NOT AWESOME: Trying to decide what ward I need to be in. Before I am 32 I need to move to the family ward. Not too big of a deal but I keep getting told make sure your ready and I guess that just makes me second guess my decision. I mean it is one of those things you never plan on: I hope that when I am 31 I will not be married so I can start to go to the family ward by myself. Yeah, not so awesome. But at the same time I believe I will be blessed in whatever ward I am attending. I think I will be fine as long as I am participating in the ward and active. Will it be different: yes. Are there times it may be hard: yes. But quite honestly there are plenty of times that it is hard to attend the singles ward. Just the environment. And I am tired and old and don't really have the energy to attend an activity every single night. Let's be honest I need a nap everyday after work as it is. Oh the adjustment back to teaching is so tiring. I will be great in a couple of weeks but this week I am exhausted. And next week I will be outside in the 100 degree weather 7 hours a day so I am pretty sure I will be tired then as well. Also not so awesome.

AWESOME: My family, friends, job, health, house, car, and so many other things. I really do have a great life. This was not meant as a pity party but I have turned my blog into a book every year and sometimes I think it is ok to look back on times that have been challenging and to see what I learned or how I grew. I recognize the Lord's hand in my life EVERY SINGLE DAY! Right now I am really focusing on trying to have the faith to trust in His plan for me. As I have followed the promptings I have received in my life I have never regretted it. I know He knows best it is just tricky when you are trying to sort through so many things. I have been trying to study the gospel by topic on a more regular basis and last month I studied hope and desire. Both topics were picked based on two conference talks I loved (Desire by Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Hope by Steven E. Snow.) I learned so much. I learned that I have so so so much to work on. But I think I studied those topics at just the right time because they have been a crutch for me the past few weeks. Life is good and for the most part very AWESOME!