CLOSING OUT 2015

I know it has come to an end but I need to finish off the year before I print my blog book. I know blogs seem to be a thing of the past but for me I love printing it off every year and having my year documented.....and so while lots of people have stopped blogging for now I will continue.

Life was busy leading up to Christmas break. This year in PE we re-wrote every single quiz we give. It is really good but also a little bit of a nightmare. I am excited for next semester because everything will be in place a little bit better than this semester. Our semester ends after the break but we give our final before and so it was just busy at school leading up to the break. Then you add my dad being in the hospital and my brother getting married in January and December was just CRAZY!!!!!!

I have been talking to my mom on the phone every day. It's probably driving her crazy but I just need to know how my dad is doing. This is a picture my aunt sent me when he was finally able to get out of bed. It was after five weeks of being on his back in bed. No beuno. Poor guy has a bed store to add to his list of afflictions. And believe me that list is way too long. It was so good to see him smiling.

 Anthony and I have gone and shot in my gym a few times. I haven't played basketball in a long time and my winter league was starting. I needed to get some shots in. It has been a lot of fun. He is crazy.

 I wanted a picture of just my nephews under the tree in the matching pajamas  got them. That was too complicated and so I joined in the picture. It still didn't really work out too well. Love these sweet boys.

 My house at Christmas is my favorite. It is just so fun and I love my decorations. That sounds so stupid but it is true. It just makes me happy. I wish it lasted more than a month.

 I got new curtains recently which has really made me enjoy the downstairs even more. I am not sure why I waited so long to do that. I don't believe in ironing which is very obvious here.

 I got to hold this little cutie at his moms Christmas orchestra. He is so much fun and is slowly starting to warm up to me. Very very slowly.

 Anthony always needs a little snuggle time with Moki. He is so good to her. He gives her way more attention than I do. I get her lots of exercise. He plays with and cuddles her.

 Sam sent me this picture of Emerson and it seriously melted my heart he is the cutest little dude.

 Nancy and I headed to California for Christmas. The weather was great until we got to Reno. We had snow the whole way over the pass. I know California needs the snow so I am not complaining.

 We drove straight to Sacramento so I could see my Dad. It was so great that he was awake and alert. His spirits were good considering the length of time he has been in the hospital and it was just so great to see him.

Sunday we wore our best red to church and enjoyed Oroville first wards Christmas program. We ditched after Sacrament and headed to the hospital.

 We decided to bring down some cards and see if my Dad could play. He has had really bad tremors in his arms since his surgery so he shakes really bad. It is hard for him to hold the cards but he did it and he enjoyed playing. He even got lucky and won a few rounds!

 We let Olivia and Braxton stay the night with us one night. I think it was on Monday night.

 These kids make life so much fun.

 I showed up to the hospital one day and my dad was off the trach. Happy Day!!! He has lost a lot of weight in the hospital.

 Moki is crazy and loves my moms couch. This was Christmas morning. She woke me up super early. Once we were in the living room and she realized nothing too exciting was happening she took a nap on the couch.

 Andrew enjoying Christmas morning.

 Braxton got the perfect gift for him.

 The kids got a basketball hoop. It was fun to play with them on it. When we were kids I think the basketball hoop we got was the best Christmas present ever. We wore that thing out. We loved it. It's great to see my nieces and nephews enjoying one as well.

 Moki is always on guard just in case.

 This particular morning she was taking turns between the two windows in the living room.

 Sam sent me the absolute best picture of Emerson.

 I was able to go to the hospital and visit my Dad every day for two weeks. I am so glad I had this opportunity. Hospitals are not my thing! It is hard to see my dad in the hospital but I really tried to put on a brave face for him. I succeeded most days. He did really well the whole first week we were there. That made it so easy to visit. I also got to help with physical therapy which I loved and I got to feed him. It was such a blessing to serve my dad in this way. I love that man so much. And as an adult I have really started to understand how much he sacrificed and worked for our family. There are certain things I don't think I could have ever understood about my dad if I hadn't been working at the same job for 11 years. It was my pleasure to give a little bit back to the man that gave me life. I hated that he needed me to feed him but at the same time treasured the opportunity that I had to be there and do that for him.

 My dad has MRSA, which everyone has, but you know he is sick and so it's more complicated. Because of that we had to wear gowns and gloves anytime we came to visit. Luckily the MRSA hasn't given him any problems yet. I am so grateful for that.

We also played Christmas music for him and just tried to make it enjoyable anytime we visited. I asked him what his favorite song was so I could play it for him and he said, "Dan goes home for Christmas!" I laughed and then said we might have to settle for his second favorite which he said was The Little Drummer Boy. He wanted to get out of that hospital so bad. Patients would walk by with their nurses and he would just comment on that he wished it were him up and walking. It is hard to get old.

I love the nursing staff at Sutter Memorial. They are great and I really appreciate all that they do. One day he had a male nurse and my dad was having a rough day. The male nurse took him out for a walk. He even took him outside. My dad hadn't been outside for over 6 weeks. I just love that he did that for my dad. The next day we talked his nurse into letting us take him on a walk again. It was so nice to get him out of that room.

 I wish I could say all had gone well the entire time I was home but it didn't. I spent all Christmas Eve with my dad and it was a super hard day. He was in a ton of pain all day and I was trying to hide my tears from him all day. It was just too much to bear, the pain he was in. I tried everything to take his mind off of it but it wasn't working. We tried to Skype but stinking Dan noticed I looked sad and said aomething. My cover was blown. My poor dad just put his arm around me and said, "I hate to see you sad." I know dad you don't know what to do when we cry and I hate being sad.

Finally around 6pm his doctor stepped in and asked how everything was going. Naturally I burst into tears and then explained that he has been in so much pain. The doctor then told me my dad had refused pain medicine because he didn't want to be asleep for my visit. THAT MAN!!!!! I made the executive decision that was time for some medicine, we did a half dose and it took the edge off just enough that we were able to enjoy a little bit of time together.

Christmas day my dad was hallucinating and was very agitated. This is the point at which it really started to go downhill. It was so hard to see him slide  backwards. He progressively got worse everyday until Monday December 28th. On Monday it was quite obvious something more serious was going on. His heart rate was above 100 bpm (it had been in the 60's every other day I had been there) and his breathing was very labored. He wasn't recognizing people anymore and he was so agitated. The staff thought he had ICU delirium, which is a thing, but my gut said differently. I talked to every nurse and doctor that would listen and tried to get them to look at my dad and notice the mental differences from only days previous. It was such a long day because I felt like no one was really taking me seriously but I knew something wasn't right. Tuesday morning his blood pressure plummeted, luckily there was a doctor really close. He sliced open my Dads chest and pus just oozed out. He had an infection. Sepsis, so not good, originating from the sight of his wound. I was glad they figured out what was going on but heartbroken to hear Sepsis. They ended up putting him back in a coma so they could treat the sepsis. So my last couple days there he was in a coma trying to fight off Sepsis. He has responded well to the antibiotics and while he is still in the coma they are making preparations to wake him up soon, hopefully tomorrow.

Meanwhile I had a sleepover with these two early risers.

 It was nice to get outside and do some yard work and try to get my mind off my dad and the hospital. We raked lots and lots of leaves and spent all morning out in the yard. Braxton was in heaven.

 Leaves and kids equals lots and lots of fun!

 Uncle Aaron gives good wheelbarrow rides.

 It's so nice to see the grass so green. It has been a while. I love Oroville in the winter.

 Aaron texting when he is supposed to be working:)

 Olivia did an awesome job helping Aaron shovel leaves and then she declared that she is more of an inside girl. Oh really????? She knew Nancy made cookies and she loves the computer. That girl.

 It was so hard to leave for Utah with my dad in a coma. Our family has been so blessed and I feel selfish for just really wanting my dad to be ok, especially when I know so many other people are dealing with more complicated situations, but I still really just want him to be ok. I love him so much but I have to continually remind myself that Heavenly Father loves him more, even though it seems hard to believe that someone loves him more than me, He does. I want to be able to accept his will for my dad. I am trying to prepare my heart for whatever he has in store for my dad. Nothing will change the love I have for him and for that I am grateful.

I love Highway 20 in the winter when there is snow.

Moki and I got out and hiked on the alpine loop with Amber. I wasn't feeling great so we had to turn around early, but it was a beautiful day. My puppy was super happy to get some snow time.

 And Emerson.......no words needed. This is one of my most favorite pictures right now. I need to print it ASAP!

 Anthony and I went to Concussion last night, great movie. Afterwards he came to my house. We were visiting about lots of things and our conversation turned to the resurrection. He said it's going to be awesome to burst out of his coffin someday like this.......

I laughed so hard and then told him I don't know if that is how it's going to all go down. But how awesome would it be if this is how it happens. So instead I will close out my 2015 blog book with this picture. Because this is how I want 2016 to go!