Olivia

Our family received the most heart breaking news this week. Really for me it started on July 20th. We were at Cody and Jen's for a family barbecue and Ben said he needed to talk to me about Olivia. He explained that she had been having crazy headaches accompanied with throwing up. They weren't everyday but when she did have them she was on the couch and out of commission. I immediately had some major sirens going off in my head. I am a WORRIER, I am also the worst because I jump to worst case scenarios. I did not like the sound of her symptoms.

When I picked the kids up in Lodi on the 21st I was given her headache chart and some medication and instructions. She was having a good day and was excited to come. Things I noticed while I had her for four days. Sunday night through Friday (July 26th). She would get a very mild headache every night. She never threw up with me. She seemed fine during the day but was definitely more chill then normal. More than her head hurting she wanted me to massage her neck each day because it was tight. She literally fell asleep every time we were in the car. We were very active and busy but this is unlike her. So she seemed tired and achy. I gave her a big hug and passed her off to her Grandma Cavanass on July 26th.

 Ben and Katie's family started school on the 30th of July. The second day of school Olivia had to stay home because she had a bad headache and was throwing up again. She went to an eye doctor and they discovered there was pressure on her optic nerve causing swelling. Her vision had not yet been effected. On Thursday August 1st Ben sent our family a text that Olivia would have an MRI the following morning. I did not sleep that night. I went to the temple first thing in the morning and added them all to the prayer roll. While I was hiking I received a text from Ben that they had the MRI and there is a mass in Olivia's brain. Devastated doesn't seem to describe the emotions I was feeling. It was a very very hard day and I am just her aunt. But really I had been very worried since Ben talked to me on July 20th. This just confirmed my worst fears. I can't imagine the emotions Ben and Katie are/were feeling.

Friday and Saturday were hard and sad days. Just spent worrying and crying. I just have to do that. I still exercised and ran errands and visited people but inside it felt like a piece of me was dying. Seems dramatic but it was so heard to hear that news. Saturday we organized a fast and got everyone who loves Olivia involved. Honestly I only fasted for Olivia and her family and her doctors but today is the first day I have felt peace. Last night I got some sleep for the first time in three days. It was soooo needed. I wish I could go give that girl the biggest hug. I don't know that she will ever know how much I love her. But man I love that girl. I hate that she is facing such a difficult thing. We still don't know exactly what she is facing. Ben and Katie will meet with doctors tomorrow to discuss a plan and learn about the tumor. No matter what there are going to be some challenges for everyone in their family. Such a hard and horrible thing.

It is crazy that she is so smart and so active and so fun and yet there is a tumor in her brain. She doesn't look sick. She is as beautiful as ever. She bikes, dances, does swim team and still that mass has quietly grown. I am so thankful for eternal families. The gospel. For a ward that Ben and Katie love and that will buoy them up in this difficult time. For a Savior that has felt everything we will feel and understands this pain. I know we have a challenge ahead for our family but I know Olivia and everyone that loves her will fight with her. So now we pray and fast and love this beautiful girl!